How do you live like this?
How do you manage to still be able to wake up in the mornings, and stand up, and do things. A LOT OF THINGS. Like, more things that actually you are capable to deal with.
You walk. you come and go walking like if everything was ok, like if you weren't hiding a full broken heart inside... and still, some people that sometimes got a glimpse of yourself passing by could see a tiny bright in the deep bottom of your eyes. As if you have an a small apex of hope. Hope that somehow things are gonna be different. That your lame luck will change and someday you will have the winner hand, that this time the bet is not going to be against you, and you will have full house.
And you still trust... you can't even understand how, you just know. And you go and smile to the first person that stopped and try to figure you out for a few seconds, like if it was some kind of saving miracle. And there you go, again, and put your heart in a box and get it all nice and shiny with a ribbon, and wait sitting next to the door to be knocked holding it. And waiting... again. The seconds become minutes, the minutes become hours until you realize, again... nobody will come to your door... again. Will someone ever?
Tell me Mafer, how do you manage to keep living like this?
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